If your spouse needs to talk about it “again” then talk about it. So eventually they decided it would be best if he quit his job and cut off all comminication with this other women. She supported and understood the desision and wanted him to do what he thought was right. So during the last week of work he cried everyday because he was never going to see her again. His wife didn’t love him till there was someone else. The problem was my wife and I never talked about them I never wanted to be the one to bring them up because I knew it would just hurt her. I asked her if we can do marriage counseling to work throught this because I still love her and want to try to make our marriage work. Reply Interesting reading the comments as someone who has been married for 30 years and having a deep and intimate affair with a co-worker.
Because it is too easy to slip back into the unhealthy behaviors.Don’t keep in touch with your ex-lover, focus on your healing work. She would ask him and he would tell her that they didn’t have a connection anymore and that it had been gone for years. They grew to really love each other but never crossed the sexual line. She was extremely controlling to a point that she forced him to sit while peeing. Didn’t care what he did for a living it only mattered that she didn’t have to work. But told her he would go get his stuff from work and cut off all communication from the other women. Got his work stuff and not spoken to the other women in a few days. I do agree with the comments re the three mistakes and there must be total separation and exclusion with the other party for any reconciliation to work but I’m interested in the comments re the affair being only fantasy and not real love?Don’t idealize what was a fantasy; enjoy what you have in reality. In the mean time he had become really close friends with a co worker. He moved out into a rv for a week one time and stayed with this women. So they where going to give 100% to try and make this marriage work with out having to see this women he loves everyday. The last day of work his boss asked him to leave his stuff for a week to think about it. But every time I think of you and see you leave I cry. He said he wanted to try to make it work if it didn’t he wanted to come back to her divorced where he could not have guilt and be able to give 100% of himself to her. So I know both of these women I don’t tell them what I know because I just. The pain caused by an attempted reconciliation and any subsequent failure would double the hurt, this could make the attempt seem not worthwhile and walking away a feasible option if only to protect the innocent party? Like marriage, we have no “manual” that tells you how to handle an affair or what the “right” things are to do. This is the “we’re just friends now” excuse or “I still care and want to make sure they are okay.” The cheater is trying to justify to themselves and their spouse that somehow it is okay to keep in touch with the person they cheated with. You are still taking something away from your spouse. However, I know it isn’t always practical, so here are a few suggestions: Easy rule: if your spouse would question it, be hurt by it, or be angered by it, don’t do it. Sometimes the cheater falls into idealizing the affair partner/relationship.There are many books out there, but how do you know which is the one? Here are three mistakes I see cheaters make again and again when couples are trying to reconcile after an affair. Emotionally an affair feels really good: it has intensity, a hint of “danger” which adds spice, and “everything is perfect.” However, an affair is fantasy.
If you need to swallow your impatience and show your remorse stronger, do it. In the mean time he had become really close friends with a co worker. He moved out into a rv for a week one time and stayed with this women. So they where going to give 100% to try and make this marriage work with out having to see this women he loves everyday. The last day of work his boss asked him to leave his stuff for a week to think about it. But every time I think of you and see you leave I cry. I can’t believe I’ve done this thing to someone I love.